Going Out Of My Mind

I know I've been out for quite a time. It's been an interesting 2 months to say the least, and not entirely in the best of ways.

Do you ever feel like no matter what you do, you just can't please the please the people you need, or want to please? No matter what, someone is looking down on you and making judgments on every freaking thing you do. It's not fair...why should someone that tries so hard to make other people happy get the short end of the stick? Someone who has done everything right for his entire life gets the worst of it when he makes one mistake, and no one will let him make it up. I'm tired of being that scapegoat who whenever something goes wrong, no one will be there to help.

On top of that, why is it that a parent thinks that they have absolute control of a child for eternity? I'm 21, I go out. Get over it. I've been recently slapped with a curfew....at 21 years of age! Do I seem a bit irritated? Because I'm way beyond it. How does that shape responsibility? If I've done everything right up to this point, why is it that still they don't trust me? I've bent over backwards, and you, as a family, have the GALL to pull a stunt like that. I'm sorry, that I want a bit of freedom over them to find myself, but isn't that what life is about? Finding yourself? I'm sorry I turned from what you wanted me to be, but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't get the respect I think i deserve. Maybe when I'm gone, then things will change and you'll see my outlook.

I need help from my friends, now more than ever. I just need to know that there is someone, even just one person, that I can count on.