Merely as an observation, it seems to me that there is a new fad that is going around with people that are fresh or anywhere from 2-3 years after graduation. In fact, it's almost a plague, and I use that term quite strongly. What am I talking about? Marriage, of course.
To my knowledge, it's a fantasy of most couples in high school that are so in love with each other that after graduation they rush themselves to the altar to engage in one of the most spiritual and most committing of responsibilities. The responsibility of another person. Believe me, I was one of them. I thought I had everything set up, and was ready to take the biggest step in my life, next to graduation and moving out of course. I thought I had the world in my pocket. And then I stopped.....and I realized something. I was scared. The one thing that no one is supposed to be afraid of....and I was scared.
Now I know what this might sound like. Adrian is afraid of commitment. Adrian can't hold a relationship together. Maybe you're right. I want to get it out of the way and say that I have nothing against people who are already married. To those who make it work, I say congratulations to you. For me, I just don't believe I can do it yet, and it's been proven to me. The girl that I thought cared and loved me proved otherwise when I wouldn't marry her. (That, and not being baptized at her convenience.)
I have a plan. It's something that I've spent many a night praying about. I was meant for more that just settling down immediately. I have a purpose, and I have to fulfill it. A person recently called me selfish for such actions, that I have a commandment to fulfill to the Lord before I attempt such an endeavor, and that my partner would support me. Maybe so, but I can't stop. Not when I've come this far. I write this in spite of two people who I have recently become distant of, and while I'm almost sad for such a separation, I will not dwell. May they enjoy their lives being married, but I have a job to do first. Again, nothing against anyone that is married, but I'm not ready. I've set out to make something, and I will finish what I started.
Peace.
Adrian =/
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2 comments:
Adrian, if you're not ready to married then you're not. Its as simple as that. Someday you will meet that special woman and that will be the time that you were meant to be married. If you feel that you are supposed to do something else right now, then do it. Follow what the Lord has planned for you and you will be alright! :)
Hi my long lost friend!
I am so excited to keep track of your blog and maybe stay in touch again.
I am afraid I couldn't get the pictures on your most recent blog so I couldn't comment on that one, but hopefully you will get the comments on this one.
If you aren't ready to get married, than don't get married. You don't want to rush into something when you have doubts because then it is almost doomed to fail. When you meet the right person you won't have any doubts, in fact, it will be the most natural and comfortable thing you could possibly do - that's how it was for me anyways.
If you feel like you have something else to accomplish, then good for you for recognizing that and pursuing it. That is an admirable thing.
But, don't close your eyes to the possibility of finding someone.
That having been said, I really hope things are going well for you!
I miss you guys up there!!
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